How to Support your Neurodivergent Child
- VHC team
- 4 days ago
- 4 min read
Has your child recently been diagnosed with Autism or ADHD? Or maybe they’ve identified as neurodivergent for some time and you’re wondering how to best support them. You’re not alone – and you don’t have to figure it all out on your own!
Every Child Deserves Support That Fits Their Brain
Neurodivergent is an umbrella term that describes natural differences in how people’s brains work. This can include Autism, ADHD, learning differences, as well as mental health differences (aka brains that work differently to the “neurotypical” majority).
Parenting a neurodivergent child can be fulfilling and deeply rewarding – and it can also be challenging, exhausting, and confusing at times. Small, consistent, and personalised strategies can really make a big difference, and parents deserve just as much support as their children.
Understand Your Child’s Neurotype
A helpful first step is getting to know how your child learns, communicates, and responds to the world around them.
This might include:
Talking with the clinicians who assessed your child.
Meeting with a neuro-affirming psychologist to understand your child’s neurotype, strengths, challenges, and sensory needs (we can offer our support here!)
Noticing what helps them feel calm, engaged, and safe.
A strengths-based approach is key. Rather than focusing only on “problems” or the behaviour alone, look at their experiences and how they experience the world. We want to understand what your child is good at, what they enjoy, and how those strengths can support areas they find more challenging.
Embrace Neurodiversity
When families and communities embrace neurodiversity, it supports a child’s mental health, wellbeing, self-esteem, and sense of identity.
Embracing neurodiversity can look like:
Acknowledging that your child might do things differently – and that’s okay!
Adjusting expectations, tasks, and activities so they can fully participate.
Valuing and celebrating the skills and interests they’re proud of.
Supporting them to find ways of managing everyday tasks that feel natural to them.
Not trying to stop behaviours that are harmless and regulating (like stimming).
Asking schools, sports clubs, and community groups to include and support neurodivergent children.
Talking openly with your child about neurodiversity and acceptance, using books, visuals, or stories, can help them feel seen and understood. You might also like to use resources from our Resources page to start these conversations together.
Advocate for Your Neurodivergent Child
You are your child’s biggest advocate. This may involve:
Talking with teachers about classroom accommodations.
Requesting support plans or adjustments at school.
Asking healthcare providers to explain things clearly and respect your child’s needs.
Speaking up when environments feel overwhelming or not inclusive.
Every neurodivergent child is different, and what works for one child might not work for another. Tailoring support to your child’s preferences, interests, strengths, and sensory profile is one of the most powerful things you can do.
What Neuro-Affirming Support Can Look Like
Traditional behaviour-focused approaches often see things like tantrums, “non-compliance,” or shutdowns as misbehaviour to get rid of. Neuro-affirming approaches understand these as stress responses or means of communication.
A neuro-affirming shift might look like:
Seeing meltdowns as a sign of distress, not defiance.
Responding with compassion first, problem-solving later.
Collaborating with your child and their support network (i.e., teachers, paediatricians, psychologists, OTs) to find strategies that actually help them.
Some practical ideas include:
Create predictability and structure
Create structured routines and incorporate visual schedules.
Warnings before transitions where possible.
Support sensory needs
Notice sensory patterns (seeking movement, avoiding noise, needing breaks).
Offer supports like fidgets, headphones, or a calm corner.
Respecting choices and autonomy
Offer choices to promote autonomy.
Support their learning style
Break tasks into small, achievable steps.
Use visuals, timers, and movement breaks.
Celebrate effort, curiosity, and persistence – not perfection.
Prioritise interests and strengths
Encourage special interests – they’re a source of joy, identity, and motivation!
Look After Yourself: Parent Support Matters Too
Supporting a neurodivergent child often asks a lot of parents – emotionally, mentally, and physically. Many parents also experience judgement or blame from schools, extended family, or the wider community, which can add to stress and isolation.
Parent support in therapy can help you:
Understand your child’s neurotype and behaviour through a neuro-affirming lens.
Reduce overwhelm and decision fatigue.
Learn practical strategies for your home that actually fit your family.
Process your own feelings – including grief, frustration, guilt, or burnout (there is absolutely no shame in any and all of the emotions you may feel).
Rebuild confidence in your ability to support your child.
Reaching out for help is a way of expanding your toolkit and getting the support you deserve!
How Very Helpful Chats Can Support Your Family
At Very Helpful Chats, we offer neuro-affirming, strengths-based support for both children and their parents, including:
Emotion regulation, coping skills, anxiety support, social and school-related challenges, and more.
Coaching, psychoeducation, strategy-building, and a non-judgemental space to process your experiences.
Neuro-affirming ADHD and Autism assessments
Understanding your child’s neurotype and support needs.
Educational needs and accommodations assessments
Exploring barriers to engagement in learning and helping you advocate for realistic adjustments
We work collaboratively with you and your child, respecting your family’s values and your child’s identity. You don’t have to do this alone – support is available, and small steps can make a meaningful difference.
