A Neurodivergent Guide to Starting the New Year (Without Burning Out by January 3rd)
- VHC team
- 12 minutes ago
- 4 min read
Read This Before You Buy Another Fancy Planner
As we head into a new year, many of us are drawn to the idea of a fresh start. And if you’re anything like us, the idea of New year's resolutions probably brings up mixed feelings, from hope and motivation, to shame from remembering past resolutions.
Maybe you’ve been here before:
You buy the new planner. You colour-code the pens. And then… sometime around mid-January… the planner disappears to who knows where, and your goals quietly disappear.
We also want to share that most New Year's resolutions don't stick. Not because people are lazy or unmotivated, but because changing habits is genuinely hard, and if your neurodivergent, it is even harder.
So this year, instead of forcing yourself to become a brand-new person on January 1st, let’s talk about how to start the year in a way that actually fits your brain.
Why Do We Set New Year's Resolutions Anyway?
New Year’s resolutions exist mostly because… everyone else is doing it. We hear the conversations in late December, see the social media posts, and feel that quiet pressure to come up with a few goals of our own.
And to be fair, the new year does hold a kind of psychological magic.
Research shows that people are more likely to try making changes around temporal landmarks (i.e., moments that clearly separate before and after) like the start of a new year or a birthday. This is known as the fresh start effect (Dai et al., 2014).
These moments can:
increase motivation
boost confidence that change is possible
make us feel like we’re leaving past mistakes behind
For neurodivergent people, that sense of separation can feel especially appealing. A clean slate. A do-over. A chance to finally “get it right.”
But here’s the catch. If you’re prone to all-or-nothing thinking, the same mindset that makes January feel full of possibility can turn one small slip into “I’ve ruined everything.” Suddenly the goal feels unachievable, and shame steps in.
So while fresh starts can be motivating, they can also set us up for unnecessary pressure.
Why Traditional New Year Resolutions Don’t Work for Neurodivergent Brains
Resolutions fail for everyone. But for neurodivergent brains, they tend to fail faster and harder.
Here’s why traditional goal-setting doesn't work for ND brains:
All or nothing thinking.
Miss one workout? The whole goal is ruined.
Forget to journal one day? Might as well give up and start again next year,
January feels exciting. February feels… much less exciting. ADHD brains crave novelty, and once something stops feeling new, motivation often disappears with it.
Traditional resolutions rely on executive functioning skills that NDers find harder:
Long-term planning (thinking months ahead)
Consistency (doing the same thing again and again)
Self-accountability (remembering the goal exists and following through solo)
Time Blindness Makes “Next December” Feel Like 2049. If the reward isn’t immediate, the brain may not register it as worthwhile.
Add in planning difficulties, impulsivity, and burnout, and it’s no wonder January optimism often turns into February exhaustion.
Here’s the good news though:
The problem is not you. It’s the system.
And systems can be changed.
Setting Neurodivergent New Year Goals That Actually Work
Dream real
Setting overly ambitious goals often leads straight to shame when they don’t pan out. Try goals that feel genuinely doable. Small wins count, and they build momentum!
Pick fewer, more meaningful goals.
One to three goals is more than enough. More than that usually leads to overwhelm and burnout.
Focus on approach goals, not avoidance
Research shows that goals focused on adding something positive work better than goals focused on avoiding something.
For example:
“Stop eating takeaway” → avoidance
“Eat more home-cooked meals” → approach
People with approach-focused goals are significantly more likely to stick with them (Oscarsson et al., 2020).
Build in rewards
Your brain needs dopamine. Rewards don’t have to undo your progress, they just need to make the process feel worth returning to.
Be kind to yourself
This part matters more than anything.
Change works best when it’s driven by care, not punishment.
Turn goals into missions and experiments
Let’s say your theme for the year is eating more home-cooked meals.
Instead of a rigid, year-long promise, try this:
Two-week mission: Cook dinner at home twice a week
One-month experiment: Try one new easy recipe each week
This is how neurodivergent brains can stay engaged, by treating goals as flexible experiments, not all-or-nothing expectations.
Closing Thoughts
A few final reminders for the new year:
You don’t need to overhaul your life in January
Progress doesn’t have to be linear
You are allowed to move into the new year at your own pace
Rest is productive
Trying again counts
You don’t need a “new you” this year. You don’t need to push harder, try harder, or become someone else by February.
And if you do want to set goals this year — that’s okay too. Wanting change, growth, or something to work towards makes sense. The key is setting goals that respect how your brain actually works, with flexibility, support, and room for adjustment.
And honestly? That’s a pretty great way to start the new year.
References
Dai, H., Milkman, K. L., & Riis, J. (2014). The Fresh Start Effect: Temporal Landmarks Motivate Aspirational Behavior. Management Science, 60(10), 2563–2582.
Oscarsson, M., Carlbring, P., Andersson, G., & Rozental, A. (2020). A large-scale experiment on New Year’s resolutions: Approach-oriented goals are more successful than avoidance-oriented goals. PLoS ONE, 15, 1–13. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0234097
https://www.finder.com.au/insights/new-years-resolutions-statistics
Comments